I'm sorry revisited

I’m sorry, I’m going to revisit a blog I did 1 year ago. What reminded me of the blog was the TV show, Ted Lasso.

It’s about the owner of a Premier League football team that wanted the team to lose disgracefully to spite her cheating husband who loved the team.

She hired an American coach who had no experience or knowledge of soccer.

At every turn surreptitiously, she tried to undermine his efforts. Near the end of the season, she realized what she was doing was wrong.

After a few aborted attempts (because its hard for a proud person to apologize for their misgivings), she said to Ted,

“I’m sorry” (she was sincere).

She then went on tell come clean on the terrible things she did (clearly explained her wrong doings) and explained why (in a way that was not giving excuses).

What was Ted’s reaction?            He forgave her.

This lifted a huge burden of guilt off of her shoulders. It also established a stronger relationship based on trust.

#1 How not to say I’m sorry

You’ve heard politicians (a famous US governor comes to mind), famous athletes and actors after getting caught in an indiscretion, say “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

This is not a real apology, in fact it is just the opposite. It essentially puts the blame on the other person for being offended.

#2 How to apologize

Be sincere

·        Simply say, I’m sorry…

·        Here’s another, I’m sorry… I was wrong

·        And another, I’m sorry…that was insensitive.

It demonstrates humility and authenticity

When you’re wrong, you’re wrong and willing to admit it. This will only add more power to when you are right.

People gravitate to these kind of leaders. I would follow this leader. Wouldn’t you?

Explain “why” you did what you did as long as it is not making an excuse but a reason why you did the wrong act.

#3 End the apology with an action

Explain what you learned from this and what you will do differently

This week let’s practice. 

Look for opportunities to say I’m sorry.

Admit to your mistakes, errors, weaknesses.

This practice will come in handy, when you face a big issue when you’re in front of the cameras or a large audience and you need to be authentically, powerfully contrite.

Take action, make a difference